H.R. No. 337
                                  R E S O L U T I O N
    1-1        WHEREAS, The members of this chamber are pleased to announce
    1-2  that March 5, 1995, was only the 50th birthday of our esteemed
    1-3  colleague, the Honorable Kim Brimer, despite all visible signs that
    1-4  would point to the contrary; and
    1-5        WHEREAS, Yes, this poster boy for the Men's Hair Club was in
    1-6  fact born on March 5, 1945, to loving parents,  "Senior" and "Big
    1-7  Mama" Brimer, who compromised when they decided to call him Kim
    1-8  after having arrived at an impasse over their previous favorite
    1-9  choice for a name, Sue; and
   1-10        WHEREAS, In his youth, Mr. Brimer had a small swingset that
   1-11  would turn over each time he swung too high, and the repeated blows
   1-12  to the head he sustained as a child have resulted in his need to
   1-13  have everything "bigger and better" as an adult; determined that
   1-14  his beloved grandson, Austin, would not suffer a similar indignity,
   1-15  he built him a gargantuan swingset and sandbox and had so much sand
   1-16  delivered that it not only buried the sandbox completely but gave
   1-17  the backyard a topography similar to that of Sandhills State Park
   1-18  in West Texas; and
   1-19        WHEREAS, He has long gained notoriety for his unique
   1-20  landscaping techniques; having fenced the tank at his residence
   1-21  with cattails in an elaborate scheme to contain the decoy ducks, he
   1-22  now needs a burn permit to get rid of the tall, reedy plants, which
   1-23  have multiplied faster than rabbits and have overtaken both the
   1-24  tank and the ducks; and
    2-1        WHEREAS, Since first being seated as a member of the 71st
    2-2  Legislature, Mr. Brimer has exhibited considerable gray matter and
    2-3  has earned the respect and admiration of his colleagues for his
    2-4  willingness to take a beating both inside and outside of the
    2-5  legislative arena, a characteristic that has no doubt endeared him
    2-6  to the golfers among us who named the annual Brimer Bogey
    2-7  tournament for him because he has never shot par in his life,
    2-8  though he is thought to be capable of shooting his age on the front
    2-9  nine; and
   2-10        WHEREAS, Tragically proud of his golf game, Mr. Brimer
   2-11  remains convinced that some of his missed putts are due to the
   2-12  distraction of his vibrating beeper and his colleagues have decided
   2-13  to allow him to remain unchallenged on this front, as there are so
   2-14  many other more pressing issues on which he must clearly be brought
   2-15  to a standstill; and
   2-16        WHEREAS, This delightful gentleman has always been one to
   2-17  buck trends and recently amazed his friends when he announced that
   2-18  he had traded in his Mercedes for a pickup; in the aftermath of
   2-19  this stunning revelation, members of both political parties have
   2-20  been standing by in case any other unlikely announcements are
   2-21  forthcoming; and
   2-22        WHEREAS, In his fourth term in the house, Mr. Brimer remains
   2-23  a force to be reckoned with according to those colleagues he has
   2-24  tackled, blocked, or blindsided, and his occasional presentation of
   2-25  whips and handcuffs to certain lobbyists have only served to
   2-26  further enhance his reputation as an instrument of torture; and
   2-27        WHEREAS, Still, he is beloved by his wife, Janna, and the
    3-1  other members of the Brimer Brood, Bill, Kimberly, Scarlet, Jan,
    3-2  Teresa, and Austin, who regard the family patriarch as a source of
    3-3  unending affection and inspiration, despite his many foibles; and
    3-4        WHEREAS, At this time, the members of this chamber would like
    3-5  to extend our heartfelt appreciation to our own historical marker
    3-6  for giving us this opportunity to provide him with the attention he
    3-7  so richly deserves in light of his having recently achieved the
    3-8  half-century mark; now, therefore, be it
    3-9        RESOLVED, That the House of Representatives of the 74th Texas
   3-10  Legislature hereby congratulate the Honorable Kim Brimer on the
   3-11  memorable occasion of his 50th birthday and extend to him warmest
   3-12  best wishes for continued success and happiness in the future; and,
   3-13  be it further
   3-14        RESOLVED, That an official copy of this resolution be
   3-15  provided to Mr. Brimer as an expression of highest regard by his
   3-16  colleagues in the Texas House of Representatives so that he may
   3-17  either "use it or lose it" throughout the years to come.